Gemsicuted

Written by Julian Robov


Forty Five


After listening to Goldie’s sincere advice, Sanders decided to visit Chin at a private hospital, on Lad Phrao Road. The traffic was heavy, but he had no other choice.
“Where is the frigging doctor?” Sanders rushed to the reception counter. This time he saw a new staff handsomely dressed and clean. She was as beautiful as Goldie. He couldn’t resist asking her name. But something went wrong. He couldn’t ask.
“Oh, please don’t disturb him,” she said cutely. “He is busy with a patient now.”
“Okay fine,” answered Sanders. “That’s his job. I’ve a job for you now. Where is my wife? She is holed up somewhere in this building at my request, and I got a call from one nurse by the name Olla, reminding me that my wife would be living with her. What the hell is going on in this place?”
“Oh, pardon my ignorance, there must be a misunderstanding somewhere in the line of communication. I’m new here. Just started yesterday. Perhaps, Dr Tuchinda can answer that question. Is anything else I can do for you?” she asked politely. He couldn’t ask further. The way she glanced at him reminded him of Goldie. She was just a photocopy.
“What’s your name, dear?” Sanders asked, finally.
“Oh, please don’t call me dear,” she cried. “I’m married. My husband doesn’t like that word. I am Tumy. Mrs Tumy!”
“Okay, Mrs Tumy, I don’t see your husband anywhere. Why the hell are you worried? You must see it as a privilege when someone calls you dear. Well, if you don’t like that word, I can afford to call someone else who deserves that status. Now pardon my inquisitive question. What does your husband do for a living?” Sanders waited patiently for the answer.
“He is a policeman. He is with me all the time,” she added. “I love him so much. I just don’t like to hurt him.”
“Fucking policeman? Right here?” Sanders looked around. He saw nobody. “I think I have had enough of this lunatic place. Leave your policeman husband right there and find my wife, now. This place is full of nuts. I just didn’t realize it till now.”
“Please don’t get angry with me,” she said. “Be understanding and compassionate. I always help others and, of course, my husband too. What’s your wife’s name?”
“Frigging, Chin!” he uttered.
“Is that a name?” she asked innocently.
“Yes and no,” Sanders said, remembering the blunder. “Just call her, Chin. Tell Melvine, her living husband wants to see her.” He was shaking nervously and cursing everyone he could remember. Then came that familiar voice.
“Hi, I had been thinking of calling you,” Dr Tuchinda said, as he walked towards Sanders frantically.
“I was about to do the same thing,” Sanders replied. “What the hell is going on here? One Olla calls to tell me that Chin would be living with her from now onwards. Just now, before you came, your new staff, Mrs Tumy defends her policeman husband, because I called her dear by mistake. Is this a hospital or a lunatic asylum?”
“Perhaps, both,” answered Dr Tuchinda jokingly. “We care and serve in its true sense. Now listen, Sanders. Your wife is showing some strange symptoms of abnormality. She thinks she is a goddess of some sort from a past life. She is demanding better treatment. That means, you have to pay extra if you want to entertain her request. What should I do? We have some policies not to entertain any strange patients in this hospital. It distracts the whole environment, in some cases, nursing staff and doctors too. You know the weak ones. She is persistent and punctual with her strange symptoms. Now it’s up to you. You can donate her to
the hospital for further research at no cost or you could take her home. If you need special services from us we could negotiate a long-term deal in each other’s interest. Is this proposal appealing to you?”
“You’re talking like an assembled gem. Are you telling me that my wife is a useless creep, and you wouldn’t mind doing research on her if I permit? Is that right?” Sanders cried angrily.
“Precisely,” said Dr Tuchinda. “She has successfully developed the symptoms I just
mentioned; a candidate for intensive research. To be honest, she is useless. She will not have any desire for sex, and is deceptively suspicious of virtually anything which moves, acute brain shutdown, persistent craving to migrate to far away planets, instant belief that she is a God of some sort in captivity just to mention a few. These symptoms are seen only in extra-terrestrials or something similar. Even our best medical schools have difficulty understanding these symptoms. So it is a new case. Also a good reason for asking more funding from a research funding institution.”
“Am I to believe that my wife is an E.T or stuff like that?” Sanders asked in bewilderment.
“Don’t know,” added Dr Tuchinda, “but her symptoms might have been concealed all these years for some strange reasons, and the time has come to reveal her true self. That identification has occurred in this now famous hospital, and I’m proud that I was part of it. It will just be a matter of time before the media and the general public picks up interest and who knows? Perhaps, a new movie might be on the roll.”
“You’re driving me nuts now,” said Sanders. “I can’t believe all this crap. I’ve a wife who is now identified by you as an E.T, and who knows what I will hear when I go to meet my daughter?”
“E.T’s daughter! What else could that be?” Dr Tuchinda laughed loudly.
“Show me your medical degree now, Tuchinda. I need a second opinion on this strange diagnosis,” Sanders said. He couldn’t stomach Dr Tuchinda’s joke.
“You will be the loser in the end,” said Dr Tuchinda. “I checked with all the experts in every damn faculty I know, when I detected this symptom. They all have the same cautious approach. Guess what? Extensive research with generous funding. Now if you go out to contaminate my reputation, the damages you will be forced to pay will wipe out all your life’s savings. It’s no joke. I’m serious. So you have ample time to decide. Probably your wife may contaminate Olla too. Maybe, we will have to classify you as well. Just in case, you know if you should develop any of those symptoms.”
“Oh my God, is this a curse?” Sanders asked, staring at Dr Tuchinda
“Oh, no. It’s a blessing in disguise,” added Dr Tuchinda. “First of its kind in this country. You must be proud of it till you develop the same symptoms. Who knows? Maybe, your name and, of course, your wife’s too, might be in the next Time magazine or Newsweek issue. Instant celebrity! Free publicity. This could be your once in a lifetime chance to sell more rubies than you have ever sold. Look, our country has no short supply of freaks. They will buy anything, which has an E.T tag on it. A top quality ruby from a living E.T ruby dealer! Do you have any idea what that means? Think about the dormant mines opening up with your blessing and the profits you would be making for the next ten years or so till something else turns up, you know what I mean? Opportunity! This is yours, and you must be happy that it is happening to you in this lifetime for Christ’s sake. Oh, look at you now. You are sweating, my friend. What can I get you to drink?”
“Just take me home,” said Sanders. “I don’t want to see her nor you too. I’ve had enough of this talk and information. Please, will you?”
“If you pay the bills!” That was a punctual reminder from Dr Tuchinda.
“How can you be so mean and rude?” Sanders said.
“Remember, Sanders, it’s you who taught me,” said Dr Tuchinda. “What? Never mix business and friendship. They should at all costs be separated. I’m telling you the same thing. I know there is a problem, not just a problem bloody big one. You know that. There is nothing to hide. It’s now an open book.”
“You have ruined my entire life with this diagnosis if I am to believe you. I’ve thugs from a different country chasing around me like bloodhounds. God knows what’s happening with my only daughter? Now tell me; what do you want me to do?” Sanders asked.
“I’m asking you the same question,” said Dr Tuchinda. “What do you want me to do? At the end of the day, it’s all money. If she stays longer, someone has to pay the cost. If she doesn’t want to stay, you have the right to take her away provided you pay the bills, and mine too, of course. You have identified the problem now. Why is it too difficult to understand?”
“Can I talk to my E.T wife at least?” Sanders asked hesitantly.
“Sure,” replied Dr Tuchinda.” I can arrange that. You will have to wear a mask. Just to protect you from abrasive and unintentional moves.”
“I don’t care,” said Sanders. “It doesn’t make much difference now. I just want to see what she looks like? Then I’ll decide what to do.”
“Wishful thinking. Just follow me!”